Poo

Warning: Those with weak stomachs or constitutions may want to refrain from reading.
Side affects may include barfing, puking a little in the mouth, dry heaving or other items of business....

It's gross. I experienced a large and rather disgusting encounter with it today. It is one of the joys that comes with parenthood.




My story begins when I actually wanted to clean the entire house today. Yes, a pat on the back to me.

No really, a big pat on the back. This isn't a normal occurrence.


Little Cart was playing in the front room as I started my endeavor of wiping counters, cleaning dishes and sweeping, wist he decided to go in his room. It was mid day after all and I thought the little tyke was already for a nap. Deciding to not interrupt the blissfulness of him "supposedly" putting himself to sleep (for he did go in his room and shut the door- odd.) I decided to go about my merry little way and whistle while I mopped.


I had finished the floor, smiled at my work and decided to check on the little one to make sure he had made it to his bed rather than the floor.

I cracked the door ever so softly as to not disturb his slumber, when I opened the door to beheld a little hellion had intruded in the house!

My eyes popped out of their sockets as he handed me a bag with poop wiped all over it (he is a little independent now days and thinks it's time he started wiping his own butt.)

I was in so much disarray/shock/what the crapness that i said

"Oh my dear sweet little munchkin,.... I think it's time you get in the bath!....

No, .... no.... don't even think about touching mom with those sweet little brown hands of yours!"


We went into the bathroom and I took the poo covered bag and threw it into the garbage. I gave strict instructions to the young lad not to TOUCH anything while momma goes to throw the bag away. I scurry back to the bathroom to find he had not obeyed my instructions as there was now poo on my bed sheet and he was currently grasping the mirror.

Wow.

What.

A.

Day :)

Even in the bath I durst not touch his poo hands and poured ounces of soap in his hands and had him wash them as much as possible until I had to touch them myself. Ewwwwww!

So after all is said and done with the bath, he had a fresh clean diaper on and went on to play with his Elmo.



Back to the bedroom. Oh please. Have mercy.
Poo in the carpet? Like honestly this is not the first time. I will have to start collecting extra "poo rags" to have on hand so I don't use up all my good cleaning rags. For rags that are used to clean up poo get thrown away~

But actually the best part of all, was not the poo in the carpet or on the hands or on the sheet or on the mirror or anywhere else except for the heater vent.

I mean... this child took care of business. Like LARGE sums of business, and thought it would be rather clever to squish them into the vent. Like holy gross.

I took it into the bathroom and used toilet paper to scrape it off. Then let it soak in disinfectant for the whole day. I was a 1/8th inch away from throwing up and adding to the mess. It was probably the most disgusting thing I've cleaned up since being a mom.